No vs. Wait

Yesterday I had another one of those days, I am guessing that the stress of getting the yard sale together on top of school work, and trying to get the house cleaned, while still trying to be there for our friends who are having hard times... Yeah I think I am a little over stressed.

So yesterday was the first day of our yard sale, and it sucked! Straight out, no other words can even compare. It was overcast and cold, and then it rained. Before the rain I had to run home and let my dogs out, as they had not been out for some time that day. It was while I was at home that it rained on the yard sale, though it didn't rain at my house. So when I returned to the yard sale, and found that it was all closed up and we still had 3 hours left, I was not all that happy. That is when they told me it had rained, (ok I know I seem focused on the rain, but yesterday that rain was my breaking point) That was the moment where I just lost it and gave up for about 20 min. Thankfully my wonderful husband was there to talk me down from doing anything stupid like packing up all the donations and sending them to goodwill.

After I calmed down I got to thinking about how God works. We always ask Him for this or that, and we treat Him like a magic genie. If we just pray then God will grant us any wish we want, and if he doesn't then God does not care. Well that is crap! I know because I was in the trap yesterday! While things were going great for the yard sale, I had a positive outlook, "We are so Blessed. God is bringing this all together." etc... But then yesterday happened. In the morning when we were setting up, I told God that the yard sale was His, not mine. That he could do with it what he wanted. Then I followed that up with asking Him for good weather. When I didn't get it I had a melt down. I forgot that I told God that it was his Yard sale and that He could do anything he wanted to do with it, but God didn't. I started to think that the rain was just God telling us "NO" about everything. because at that moment that is where my head was, because things weren't going MY way. I started to add up all the things that could be taking as NOs and making them bigger to support my case that the rain was God saying no. Like the fact that we were only 2 home studies away from finishing our process with the first agency we were with when our social worker stopped calling us back, or that we had to decline our first round of adoption classes with the new agency this past spring because it was in the middle of the semester and I could not change my class schedule. And then the rain on our first day of our yard sale.

I had it all together, God was telling me that we were not meant to adopt. I was convinced! Luckily I was not able to convince my husband. We sat down and cried and talked, well he talked and I cried. but he made since.

See when we are going through what ever it is we are going through, sometimes God's "NOT YET"s to us look like His "NO"s. But that is because we are too close to the situation. See God was not telling me "NO" yesterday, I think He was asking me if I was truly giving him my yard sale or were they just words. And I know that He was not saying "NO" because we have been pretty study all day. That and the desire for us to hold our baby is still VERY strong in mine and my husbands heart. See I believe that God does not put a desire in your heat that burns as much as this does, only to let it tease you when He says No. I believe that the desire to do what ever it was that you wanted to do when He said No will go away once you submit to God's will. I know that is the way it has always worked for me in the past. But yesterday I was just so overcome that I was ready to believe it even with the desire burning in my soul.

I learned that when you tell God something is His, you had better mean it, cause if you don't He is going to take you on your word any way and if you don't like what He plans on doing with it, too bad. I also learned that just because it looks like a NO from where your standing, sometimes means you need to move to see the rest of the letters that spell NOT YET.