So Now that we are through the classes and are going into our homestudy, I had been feeling a little disconnected. We did not start the home study right when I thought we would and I got depressed. I started thinking it was going to be like our first experience all over again.Than we decided that we were going to go ahead and register. If you are new to adoption let me just warn you that if you want to have a baby shower you will need to do it before you have been placed according to most agencies. They have their reasons why and they can explain them better than I can. So any way we went and registered at two different stores and I was excited for a little bit...until we realized that there was very little gender neutral items out there. Almost everything out there is color coded for bay or girl. Well we had no idea what we were going to have so how were we suppose to register for anything that would not be specific? This just sent me into another depressed night. Let me tell you being depressed during important times at school is not a good thing. So talked about it and decided that we were going to adopt a boy!
The next thing that we had to make a decision on was rather or not we where going to use disposable dippers or cloth. There was some interesting debate on both sides, but for me it was a no brainier! Cloth dippers can be more costly in the beginning but in the end they save you money. Not only that, and for me this is the sticking point, they are healthier for the baby. Did you know that there are chemicals in dippers like pampers or huggies? That's right! chemicals that have been linked to childhood cancer! No thank you, not for me. Even if it means a little more laundry and spraying poop off into the toilet.
Then there was the thought of feeding. holy crap! I thought I was going to pass out from sticker shock when I saw the price of formula. I had been thinking about inducing breastfeeding but I was back and forth on it. Well let me tell you...after I saw with the sticker prices, I decided that I wanted to go ahead and try to breastfeed. Not only will this help with attachment with our son but when I pump, Daddy can feed him and spend time with him too...and it is less cost. I am looking into a ebook I found. I will put it here for you to check out too.
I know I seem a little focused on the cost but to be honest it kind of scared me when I did the math. the other part of it at least for me is the fact that I want my baby to be as healthy as possible with out all the extra crap that other people put in their products. Along those same lines, yes I am going to make my own baby food.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Things I never thought about
When I was a young girl, I never once thought about what the word ADOPTION truly meant. I had heard the word and I knew the proper way to use it, but never thought much of it, because at that time it did not impact my life. I don't even know when I learned what the word truly meant. I knew kids that were adopted by their stepfathers but had no idea what the impact of that was. I knew that people could adopt a new way of thinking or any other way you can use that word. I am sure that I probably asked my mother one day what it meant to be adopted and she probably told me that it was when a family that could not have a baby of their own took someone else's baby home to raise, or something along those lines. (I am sure I understood it at the time). But I never really did understand what adoption truly meant until I was standing on the thresh hold of our adoption.
When I was in high school, I found out that my mother had a child before my sister and I were born and she made an adoption plan (of course at that time there was not true adoption plan, she was never talked to or educated about what her choices were or how here choice would impact her life). I found all of this out because my mother's daughter came to find her. I had so many emotions running through me that I had no idea which one I wanted to deal with first. But I still never thought about what it truly meant for the adoptive parents or ask my sister how it was growing up being adopted. Now I have questions for her and no way of reaching her. Go figure.
When Chad and I decided to adopt instead of going through medical procedures, I just assumed that raising a child that is adopted would be the same as raising a child that was born from you. I am beginning to see that I was wrong to a degree. I am not saying that an adopted child has to be handled with special gloves, or put in a protective room or what ever, but I am saying that as an adoptive parent, there are things that I never thought about. Lets look at just the fact that telling your child they are adopted is not just a one time deal. I just assumed it would be a sit down, face to face conversation that would happen and be done. I did not understand that we would have to continuously answer questions about the birth parents/families. I never once dreamed about having an open adoption. I just assumed that once we were placed, we would be a family and not really have to think about the birth family. Boy was I wrong. But to be honest, I have never been more glad about being wrong.
Growing up without a father in my life, because he made the choice to walk away from me, I found that I was missing something and I could never figure out what that was until I was older. I knew my father, I knew of his family, but it was a part of me that was missing and I longed to have it filled. If this is how I felt and I knew my father, I cannot begin to know what it must be like for someone who is adopted and know nothing about their birthparents. I understand the need for your child to know where they came from and how crucial it is for them to know their adoption story, but in the same time I wonder how different our lives will be with this child? Will the term adoption permeate the rest of our lives? Yes.
This is an action that we have to add into our daily lives and live everyday, not just a one time, face to face conversation. Their adoption story is something we will have to know in detail and be able to retell over and over. To be able to keep it age appropriate yet truthful. To be able to answer questions our child will have about their birth parents, such as "How tall was my birth mom?", "What color eyes did my birth dad have?" all the way to "Why did my birth mom make an adoption plan?" and lets not forget the questions from strangers that will lead to questions like "If I don't look like you, who do I look like?" Most of these answers will come easer with having an open line of communication with the birth families.
All I know is that I believe a special bond is formed through adoption, one that can never be experienced until you are standing on the thresh hold of adoption yourself. It is an experience I can not wait for. Not having any biological children this will be the only way of life for us that we will know, except from our own personal experience of growing up. It will be an adventure. I just pray that our parents and families will be as supportive with the idea of openness as we need them to be. Unfortunately they are all on the old way of thinking: that adoptions need to be closed and kept quit.
I want to take this time to say that I am sorry if my thoughts seem a little disconnected, these were just some things that I needed to get down and off my chest.
When I was in high school, I found out that my mother had a child before my sister and I were born and she made an adoption plan (of course at that time there was not true adoption plan, she was never talked to or educated about what her choices were or how here choice would impact her life). I found all of this out because my mother's daughter came to find her. I had so many emotions running through me that I had no idea which one I wanted to deal with first. But I still never thought about what it truly meant for the adoptive parents or ask my sister how it was growing up being adopted. Now I have questions for her and no way of reaching her. Go figure.
When Chad and I decided to adopt instead of going through medical procedures, I just assumed that raising a child that is adopted would be the same as raising a child that was born from you. I am beginning to see that I was wrong to a degree. I am not saying that an adopted child has to be handled with special gloves, or put in a protective room or what ever, but I am saying that as an adoptive parent, there are things that I never thought about. Lets look at just the fact that telling your child they are adopted is not just a one time deal. I just assumed it would be a sit down, face to face conversation that would happen and be done. I did not understand that we would have to continuously answer questions about the birth parents/families. I never once dreamed about having an open adoption. I just assumed that once we were placed, we would be a family and not really have to think about the birth family. Boy was I wrong. But to be honest, I have never been more glad about being wrong.
Growing up without a father in my life, because he made the choice to walk away from me, I found that I was missing something and I could never figure out what that was until I was older. I knew my father, I knew of his family, but it was a part of me that was missing and I longed to have it filled. If this is how I felt and I knew my father, I cannot begin to know what it must be like for someone who is adopted and know nothing about their birthparents. I understand the need for your child to know where they came from and how crucial it is for them to know their adoption story, but in the same time I wonder how different our lives will be with this child? Will the term adoption permeate the rest of our lives? Yes.
This is an action that we have to add into our daily lives and live everyday, not just a one time, face to face conversation. Their adoption story is something we will have to know in detail and be able to retell over and over. To be able to keep it age appropriate yet truthful. To be able to answer questions our child will have about their birth parents, such as "How tall was my birth mom?", "What color eyes did my birth dad have?" all the way to "Why did my birth mom make an adoption plan?" and lets not forget the questions from strangers that will lead to questions like "If I don't look like you, who do I look like?" Most of these answers will come easer with having an open line of communication with the birth families.
All I know is that I believe a special bond is formed through adoption, one that can never be experienced until you are standing on the thresh hold of adoption yourself. It is an experience I can not wait for. Not having any biological children this will be the only way of life for us that we will know, except from our own personal experience of growing up. It will be an adventure. I just pray that our parents and families will be as supportive with the idea of openness as we need them to be. Unfortunately they are all on the old way of thinking: that adoptions need to be closed and kept quit.
I want to take this time to say that I am sorry if my thoughts seem a little disconnected, these were just some things that I needed to get down and off my chest.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Where to Start
Wow I can not believe it has been 5 months since I last posted. There has been so much that has happened over those past 5 months that I don't know where to begain.
I guess I will start with the fact that our yard sale was a hit on the second day and that we brought in over $500 just on one day. Not to shabby. my other fundraiser was a 31 party. We raised $100 with that. I am hoping to have another 31 party and a Tastefully Simple Party this spring.
Chad and I just started our adoption classes with our agency this past Saturday. I am excited and nervious all at the same time. We have been here before, but this time it is a different out look on what can happen. I am excited to be working with Cathloic Social Services I am more relaxed with them than I ever was with our other agency. But I have to say that once things set rolling here they don't stop until the waiting to be picked. I think that is the part that I am most nervous about. I keep thinging "What if birth parents don't want us? How long are we going to wait?" These are just some of the thoughts that have been creeping up in my head for the last few days. The other thing is that it might happen so fast that I might not have time to catch my breath. I know it can go eather way but to be honest I have been on high ever since we recieved the phone call telling us that we were up again for classes.
I am excited for our new chapter to begain in our lives. I know that we are going to have many people helping us on our journey and celebrating with us when we see our little ones face for the first time.
I guess I will start with the fact that our yard sale was a hit on the second day and that we brought in over $500 just on one day. Not to shabby. my other fundraiser was a 31 party. We raised $100 with that. I am hoping to have another 31 party and a Tastefully Simple Party this spring.
Chad and I just started our adoption classes with our agency this past Saturday. I am excited and nervious all at the same time. We have been here before, but this time it is a different out look on what can happen. I am excited to be working with Cathloic Social Services I am more relaxed with them than I ever was with our other agency. But I have to say that once things set rolling here they don't stop until the waiting to be picked. I think that is the part that I am most nervous about. I keep thinging "What if birth parents don't want us? How long are we going to wait?" These are just some of the thoughts that have been creeping up in my head for the last few days. The other thing is that it might happen so fast that I might not have time to catch my breath. I know it can go eather way but to be honest I have been on high ever since we recieved the phone call telling us that we were up again for classes.
I am excited for our new chapter to begain in our lives. I know that we are going to have many people helping us on our journey and celebrating with us when we see our little ones face for the first time.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
No vs. Wait
Yesterday I had another one of those days, I am guessing that the stress of getting the yard sale together on top of school work, and trying to get the house cleaned, while still trying to be there for our friends who are having hard times... Yeah I think I am a little over stressed.
So yesterday was the first day of our yard sale, and it sucked! Straight out, no other words can even compare. It was overcast and cold, and then it rained. Before the rain I had to run home and let my dogs out, as they had not been out for some time that day. It was while I was at home that it rained on the yard sale, though it didn't rain at my house. So when I returned to the yard sale, and found that it was all closed up and we still had 3 hours left, I was not all that happy. That is when they told me it had rained, (ok I know I seem focused on the rain, but yesterday that rain was my breaking point) That was the moment where I just lost it and gave up for about 20 min. Thankfully my wonderful husband was there to talk me down from doing anything stupid like packing up all the donations and sending them to goodwill.
After I calmed down I got to thinking about how God works. We always ask Him for this or that, and we treat Him like a magic genie. If we just pray then God will grant us any wish we want, and if he doesn't then God does not care. Well that is crap! I know because I was in the trap yesterday! While things were going great for the yard sale, I had a positive outlook, "We are so Blessed. God is bringing this all together." etc... But then yesterday happened. In the morning when we were setting up, I told God that the yard sale was His, not mine. That he could do with it what he wanted. Then I followed that up with asking Him for good weather. When I didn't get it I had a melt down. I forgot that I told God that it was his Yard sale and that He could do anything he wanted to do with it, but God didn't. I started to think that the rain was just God telling us "NO" about everything. because at that moment that is where my head was, because things weren't going MY way. I started to add up all the things that could be taking as NOs and making them bigger to support my case that the rain was God saying no. Like the fact that we were only 2 home studies away from finishing our process with the first agency we were with when our social worker stopped calling us back, or that we had to decline our first round of adoption classes with the new agency this past spring because it was in the middle of the semester and I could not change my class schedule. And then the rain on our first day of our yard sale.
I had it all together, God was telling me that we were not meant to adopt. I was convinced! Luckily I was not able to convince my husband. We sat down and cried and talked, well he talked and I cried. but he made since.
See when we are going through what ever it is we are going through, sometimes God's "NOT YET"s to us look like His "NO"s. But that is because we are too close to the situation. See God was not telling me "NO" yesterday, I think He was asking me if I was truly giving him my yard sale or were they just words. And I know that He was not saying "NO" because we have been pretty study all day. That and the desire for us to hold our baby is still VERY strong in mine and my husbands heart. See I believe that God does not put a desire in your heat that burns as much as this does, only to let it tease you when He says No. I believe that the desire to do what ever it was that you wanted to do when He said No will go away once you submit to God's will. I know that is the way it has always worked for me in the past. But yesterday I was just so overcome that I was ready to believe it even with the desire burning in my soul.
I learned that when you tell God something is His, you had better mean it, cause if you don't He is going to take you on your word any way and if you don't like what He plans on doing with it, too bad. I also learned that just because it looks like a NO from where your standing, sometimes means you need to move to see the rest of the letters that spell NOT YET.
So yesterday was the first day of our yard sale, and it sucked! Straight out, no other words can even compare. It was overcast and cold, and then it rained. Before the rain I had to run home and let my dogs out, as they had not been out for some time that day. It was while I was at home that it rained on the yard sale, though it didn't rain at my house. So when I returned to the yard sale, and found that it was all closed up and we still had 3 hours left, I was not all that happy. That is when they told me it had rained, (ok I know I seem focused on the rain, but yesterday that rain was my breaking point) That was the moment where I just lost it and gave up for about 20 min. Thankfully my wonderful husband was there to talk me down from doing anything stupid like packing up all the donations and sending them to goodwill.
After I calmed down I got to thinking about how God works. We always ask Him for this or that, and we treat Him like a magic genie. If we just pray then God will grant us any wish we want, and if he doesn't then God does not care. Well that is crap! I know because I was in the trap yesterday! While things were going great for the yard sale, I had a positive outlook, "We are so Blessed. God is bringing this all together." etc... But then yesterday happened. In the morning when we were setting up, I told God that the yard sale was His, not mine. That he could do with it what he wanted. Then I followed that up with asking Him for good weather. When I didn't get it I had a melt down. I forgot that I told God that it was his Yard sale and that He could do anything he wanted to do with it, but God didn't. I started to think that the rain was just God telling us "NO" about everything. because at that moment that is where my head was, because things weren't going MY way. I started to add up all the things that could be taking as NOs and making them bigger to support my case that the rain was God saying no. Like the fact that we were only 2 home studies away from finishing our process with the first agency we were with when our social worker stopped calling us back, or that we had to decline our first round of adoption classes with the new agency this past spring because it was in the middle of the semester and I could not change my class schedule. And then the rain on our first day of our yard sale.
I had it all together, God was telling me that we were not meant to adopt. I was convinced! Luckily I was not able to convince my husband. We sat down and cried and talked, well he talked and I cried. but he made since.
See when we are going through what ever it is we are going through, sometimes God's "NOT YET"s to us look like His "NO"s. But that is because we are too close to the situation. See God was not telling me "NO" yesterday, I think He was asking me if I was truly giving him my yard sale or were they just words. And I know that He was not saying "NO" because we have been pretty study all day. That and the desire for us to hold our baby is still VERY strong in mine and my husbands heart. See I believe that God does not put a desire in your heat that burns as much as this does, only to let it tease you when He says No. I believe that the desire to do what ever it was that you wanted to do when He said No will go away once you submit to God's will. I know that is the way it has always worked for me in the past. But yesterday I was just so overcome that I was ready to believe it even with the desire burning in my soul.
I learned that when you tell God something is His, you had better mean it, cause if you don't He is going to take you on your word any way and if you don't like what He plans on doing with it, too bad. I also learned that just because it looks like a NO from where your standing, sometimes means you need to move to see the rest of the letters that spell NOT YET.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Depression hits
So for the past few days I have been feeling very low. I have been trying to keep a positive outlook on everything. I know that God tells us to rely on Him and His timing. But I guess it is just been one of those low times.
I have been feeling that I am all alone in this world. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful husband and a mom who would give me the moon if I asked. I am thankful for them both. I have a few friends that I can call on and say "help" (and believe me I have) and they are very supportive.
But I just feel alone. Almost like... I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe its because of this yard sale. It felt great when we started planing it and All the donations are amazing! I have so much stuff that I am going to have to line the driveway with tables and put some in the front and back yard as well as the back porch! I am overly blessed. But I'm scared. I'm worried about the out come. I am concerned that we won't make enough money. Our Goal this weekend is $1,000.00. That pays for the next leg of the process for us. We have this other fundraiser planed and only one person has signed up for it.
I guess I am getting very discouraged. SO If I do have anyone out there who is reading this, Please pray for me. Pray for encouragement, that the yard sale does well, that more people will sign up for the Stay In Bed 5K I guess I am just needing a little more encouragement then most days.
Thanks for listening.
I have been feeling that I am all alone in this world. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful husband and a mom who would give me the moon if I asked. I am thankful for them both. I have a few friends that I can call on and say "help" (and believe me I have) and they are very supportive.
But I just feel alone. Almost like... I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe its because of this yard sale. It felt great when we started planing it and All the donations are amazing! I have so much stuff that I am going to have to line the driveway with tables and put some in the front and back yard as well as the back porch! I am overly blessed. But I'm scared. I'm worried about the out come. I am concerned that we won't make enough money. Our Goal this weekend is $1,000.00. That pays for the next leg of the process for us. We have this other fundraiser planed and only one person has signed up for it.
I guess I am getting very discouraged. SO If I do have anyone out there who is reading this, Please pray for me. Pray for encouragement, that the yard sale does well, that more people will sign up for the Stay In Bed 5K I guess I am just needing a little more encouragement then most days.
Thanks for listening.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Stay In Bed 5K
OK, So some amazing friends of ours, whom by the way are adopting also, but from Ethiopia, (find out more about them here ) have put together a fundraiser for the both of us.
So here's the deal, Its a 5K, but not your normal 5K. You will sign up for it just like any other, You will have a $30.00 buy in for your shirt packet. You can still get sponsors and everything just like a normal 5K, but there will be no need to get in shape, because there is NO RUNNING!!!! That's right I said no running! The day of the "race" you ware your shirt and your number and you just go about your day. Take pictures and post them to the facebook page. Find some unique places or unique sleeping positions to take the pictures. We will be picking the best picture and sending you a wonderful prize! This is a great way to have fun with your friends while supporting a great cause!
Here are the details in full:
Deadline for registration: September 22nd (so we can order shirts and other goodies for you!)
Day of the 5k: October 13th
Where: Anywhere you go on Oct 13th!!!
How much?: $30/ participant (includes shirt, race number, goodies and opportunity to win a prize!)
How?: Go to the pay pal link at the top left of this page and submit 30 dollars add a note with your shirt size and address!
Goal: 75 participants
Day of the 5k: October 13th
Where: Anywhere you go on Oct 13th!!!
How much?: $30/ participant (includes shirt, race number, goodies and opportunity to win a prize!)
How?: Go to the pay pal link at the top left of this page and submit 30 dollars add a note with your shirt size and address!
Goal: 75 participants
Join us in making our families whole. Help bring our trues Loves Home!!!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Breaking News
We had an interview with our local news paper last night. It was nerve racking. But it went well.
OK so here is how that happened. As I have stated previously, we are having an adoption fundraising Yard sale. Before a few months ago, when our friends had theirs, I had not even dreamed of having a fundraiser for our adoption. It still feels odd asking people for money. So I was driving down the street listening to Klove and thinking about how we where going to set up this yard sale. I has already been so blessed by some of my friends who had called me up and told me that they had things for me the day that I told them that I was having the yard sale and asked for donations.
So I was driving down the street and talking to God when He decided to talk back. Out of the blue I hear God's voice in my head telling me to contact the local paper and run an ad. I was like OK. So I told my mom about it and she said it was a great idea, and I should call them soon. Well... I forgot. I was so distracted by getting ready for school that I didn't think about it. Until one day last week. God reminded me that I needed to call, so I did. When I called I was connected to this nice lady. I explained our situation to her and told her what the yard sale was for. Her next question was "Can I come out and interview you?"
So here I am just wanting to run some thing about our yard sale, maybe a quick explanation about what it was for, and she wanted to come to our house and interview us. Wow. She said that she wanted to know more about adoption and was sure that more people in the area would be interested in it too. So she came out last night and talked to us for quite some time and took a few pictures with us and the dogs.
Now I am nerves about what the article will be like, but again it was God's plain not mine, so I'll let him deal with it.
So moral of the story is this. When God whispers in your ear, there is a reason behind it and you should listen.
OK so here is how that happened. As I have stated previously, we are having an adoption fundraising Yard sale. Before a few months ago, when our friends had theirs, I had not even dreamed of having a fundraiser for our adoption. It still feels odd asking people for money. So I was driving down the street listening to Klove and thinking about how we where going to set up this yard sale. I has already been so blessed by some of my friends who had called me up and told me that they had things for me the day that I told them that I was having the yard sale and asked for donations.
So I was driving down the street and talking to God when He decided to talk back. Out of the blue I hear God's voice in my head telling me to contact the local paper and run an ad. I was like OK. So I told my mom about it and she said it was a great idea, and I should call them soon. Well... I forgot. I was so distracted by getting ready for school that I didn't think about it. Until one day last week. God reminded me that I needed to call, so I did. When I called I was connected to this nice lady. I explained our situation to her and told her what the yard sale was for. Her next question was "Can I come out and interview you?"
So here I am just wanting to run some thing about our yard sale, maybe a quick explanation about what it was for, and she wanted to come to our house and interview us. Wow. She said that she wanted to know more about adoption and was sure that more people in the area would be interested in it too. So she came out last night and talked to us for quite some time and took a few pictures with us and the dogs.
Now I am nerves about what the article will be like, but again it was God's plain not mine, so I'll let him deal with it.
So moral of the story is this. When God whispers in your ear, there is a reason behind it and you should listen.
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